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February 07, 2005


John L

Ah yes... just what I need to dull my already tarnished image: Spurious apocrypha from H J Sparke, inveterate fornicator, exaggerator, procrastinator and fabricator... and self-appointed Southern Districts Reserve Grade Poet Laureate




In a grungy back street of Hanoi,
Came the high pitched nasal scream of “Ennoi Ennoi”.

I was rudely awoken from my deep slumber,
Straight up through the heavy floor lumber.

Again “Ennoi Ennoi” that piercing grating tone,
Straight through my sweating flesh right to the bone.

My head shrinking, spinning and so sore,
My mouth so dry, and throat so raw.

“Ennoi Ennoi” came yet again and again,
Oh my God , Shut up, ohhhh the pain.

Looking out onto the tired dusty street,
My bleary bloodshot eyes finally did meet.

The blurred sad sorry vision,
A young taxi girl on a mission.

From my neighbours room on high,
Came a parched croaky reply.

Almost a strangled kind of grunt,
What the …. Do you want, You sill ….

Mister last night in your room I left my ring,
Full of relief, her voice now faintly did sing.

While feeling the back of my head surely for a lump,
From next door came a moan, and a muffled thump.

Next moment an object did glint and twirl,
Out the window a small ruby ring did John Lambie hurl.

Thank You, Ca’m O’n Ennoi Ennoi,
Thank …. For that she really did annoy, annoy.

Such are the times and fuzzy, haze filled memories of Hanoi.


So sorry for your loss. But what a eulogy! To be lauded thus has surely made your 'thatchèd chum ' the envy of the millinery world. So we hope at least it is some small comfort for you to consider that your hat was the hat that other hats raised their hat too.

Eagerly awaiting next bulletin

John Mallen

Dehatted, rehatted where are you?



Poem just superb - write more and publish! Phnom Penh a total wipe out, how long are you there for? - I may be back within a week or so.


Ross Chalmers

Lost you Ghanaian hat eh?
Did you purchase said hat at Riverside markets in Brisbane?
I bought one too when I came to brisbane- and a trusty sun shielding friend it has been ever since- with that slightly oily smell when it gets hot.

Enjoying your electronic limerics & poetry John!



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